a beginner's guide to anxiety.

Step one: pause to stare at
A thought. It seems innocuous enough,
But something about it has caught your
Eye--perhaps the name on a memory of
Words that might have been said days ago,
Or a glimpse in the mirror at yourself.

Step two: worry the thought in the same
Way your tongue keeps coming back to
That sore spot in your mouth, or how you
Pick a scab. Worry and pick and scratch
Until the thought starts bleeding.

Step three: try to stem the flood of
Anxiety now rushing from your new,
Proverbial wound. Bandage it with
Rationale, wrap logic around it like a
Gauze, knowing all the while that it will
Leak free and continue rushing into your
Bloodstream, your nerves, your bones until
It infects you wholly.

Step four: tell your friends you can't make
It tonight; ignore the blinking icons on your
Phone and assure yourself that you are merely
Saving them the trouble of dealing with your
Demons. You know what the hemorrhage will
Cause--you know words you don't mean will
Stumble out of your mouth, and you'll slip further
And further into a spiral no one else seems to
Notice. Give into the crush of fear and
Burn in private.

Step five: breathe the last of it out of you
In a long sigh, long after midnight has swept
Past--feel your nerves stop singing, little by little,
Until the wound finally closes. Let wearied relief
Settle over you like a cool shroud, and in that
Brief moment of respite, fall asleep for a few hours.
Wake up, and even though you haven't slept enough,
Crawl out of bed and slowly into coherent
Consciousness.

Step one: pause to stare at
A thought.